Heroin might be the answer. Ancient fag here (55) I was fucked up and depressed about everything in my life 22 years ago I was feeling suicidal and I was homeless. Instead of killing myself I decided to roll the dice and see if I could overdose. Instead of dying I ended up being a total wreck of a human being... But holy shit did I get laid. I'm not good looking, but I managed to get with 9 girls in eight months. Fine ass bitches. Eventually I got married but continued shooting speedball s. After 13 years of seriously insane IV drug use I did a shit load of mushrooms (18g of dessicated PF) and decided to quit shooting up and leave my job, wife, pets and friends. I left NYC and moved to the Midwest, got remarried and had a kid. Life sucks for me often and the psychiatrist keeps prescribing me more drugs, my PTSD is barely under control and I only sleep three hours a night... But sometimes it am having so much fun and I'm happy to be here. I'm not going to tell anyone not to become an hero, but I'm definitely suggesting that you take full advantage of having nothing to lose. Go ahead and take stupid risks. Enjoy hating life to the fullest. Death will eventually take you into her sweet embrace so go ahead and fuck shit up before you die. Oh yeah, you should experience all of the stuff that normal people are too scared to try. Shoot up MDMA at least once. If at all possible die laughing.