Might as well throw my ring in the towel

> Be Me, just about a year ago
> Had Thongs, Dildos, Flashlights, just about everything under the sun for a bisexual guy like me. I just hadn't fully experimented with another person yet.
> My friend group knew the whole schpeel for years, I even had a crush on a gay guy in my school
> Never got to talk to him though.
> One random day one of my friends randomly shows up to stay the night.
> One of our other friends makes his point clear in the fact he's gay
> Tease him a little over it, get my dildo out and show it to the other friend through snap just to be funny
> Decide to ask the friend staying over if he minds if I just have my thong on to take a pic to send again because fuck all
> Expected him to say "I don't wanna see that shit" or something akin to that
> Says he's fine with it
> Dafuq.jpg
> Wearing my thong the whole time after that
> Strange tension as he wants to sleep alongside me in my bed for the night
> Suspecting something is brewing in him, but leave it until the morning to say I wanted to cuddle with him during the night
> feelings are mutual.
> I'm excited as fuck, plan for next time to be the day we fuck around.
> Plans change but we eventually get a night together
> Moment we get in the bedroom we reveal ourselves to eachother
> I'm left smiling like a bastard when I see his nice cock
> It's not perfect but it's cute in nature, easily flaccid most of the time
> We frot, he barely cums but I shoot ropes.
> In love with him
> Cuddle as we sleep but the next morning brings on heavy anxiety between us on where to go next and he eventually leaves while I'm saddened by the whole thing not panning out how I thought it would.
> A few months later it happens again, this time he's still flaccid even when trying to fuck me.
> Inevitably do the same thing as before, cuddle again for the whole duration that we're sleeping.
> Both of us get anxious again about it again
> Has second thoughts on being straight
Fuck.