Anonymous
11/1/2025, 4:37:29 PM
No.50244495
Morning chat.
Feeling pretty discouraged today. Fully learning Japanese and actually making my way in Japan is starting to feel like fantasy again. And I’n starting to feel like, whats the point? I mean I know my reasons. They are good reasons. But I guess emotionally I feel a little sad about it. I really wish I decided doing this ~10 years ago, when I was young and had a lot of future ahead of me. Kinda feels like Im rushing because Im going to be really old soon, and literally wont be able to do it soon. In one way, thats more reason to do it, its my last chance. But in other ways, maybe I should just try to maximize my life in America. My life is already a mess and Ive never had stability. Im finally on the verge of getting stability, and now I want to use the stability as a springboard to go Japan. Should I just be happy surviving here? Maybe I dont need to go across the world and risk everything for a silly dream when I dont have the bases covered. Im not a young guy. In my head I still picture going to Japan as a young buck with the world at his disposal and endless opportunity, but thats just not the case for me anymore. Still at the same time, going to Japan, still trying to make something work there, career wise, romance wise, even if its not ideal since Im not young anymore, I still want to try, yaknow? Even if career fails, romance fails, and its a tough time, I still got to live in Japan for a few years and take in the culture. I think that in itself is worth it. Days like this are hard though. I feel like my life is basically over. If I do just give up and try to build stability in America, there is something very depressing about that. I want a shake up. Not doing Japan, I will just wither away in some shitty apartment with a shit job, never attempting to go after anything I truly want. What was even the point of life then? Just to stay alive?
Feeling pretty discouraged today. Fully learning Japanese and actually making my way in Japan is starting to feel like fantasy again. And I’n starting to feel like, whats the point? I mean I know my reasons. They are good reasons. But I guess emotionally I feel a little sad about it. I really wish I decided doing this ~10 years ago, when I was young and had a lot of future ahead of me. Kinda feels like Im rushing because Im going to be really old soon, and literally wont be able to do it soon. In one way, thats more reason to do it, its my last chance. But in other ways, maybe I should just try to maximize my life in America. My life is already a mess and Ive never had stability. Im finally on the verge of getting stability, and now I want to use the stability as a springboard to go Japan. Should I just be happy surviving here? Maybe I dont need to go across the world and risk everything for a silly dream when I dont have the bases covered. Im not a young guy. In my head I still picture going to Japan as a young buck with the world at his disposal and endless opportunity, but thats just not the case for me anymore. Still at the same time, going to Japan, still trying to make something work there, career wise, romance wise, even if its not ideal since Im not young anymore, I still want to try, yaknow? Even if career fails, romance fails, and its a tough time, I still got to live in Japan for a few years and take in the culture. I think that in itself is worth it. Days like this are hard though. I feel like my life is basically over. If I do just give up and try to build stability in America, there is something very depressing about that. I want a shake up. Not doing Japan, I will just wither away in some shitty apartment with a shit job, never attempting to go after anything I truly want. What was even the point of life then? Just to stay alive?