Anonymous
7/13/2025, 2:38:09 PM
No.40373373
>>40373366
>I said he was using me and said he basically sexually assaulted me the first night we hooked up, which wasn't true, I was consenting in everything I did but I just wanted to cut him deep.
>We break things off super messily, and quite literally never talked again. That was it. (I texted him about 3 years later and he told me to fuck off and never contact him again.)
>I was inconsolable for a few weeks, eventually I drowned it out in partying and girls. No surprise I'm a major alcoholic now.
>I did question my sexuality for a while, I even tried 2 casual hookups with guys, but I didn't enjoy it beyond the mechanics, I was more into the emotional aspects of sex with my best friend. I can't say I'm 100% straight, because with that one relationship I did enjoy the gay parts about it. If I had to label it, I would say I'm bi but very demisexual with men and not at all that way with women.
>I recently had a very strong relationship with a woman with lots of the same emotional closeness, which made me more comfortable in my heterosexuality. She broke it off with me after hearing this story. She claims it's not that it was gay but that it feels like I'm chasing something I'll never get back, which wasn't true then. I know homophobia had a lot to do with it despite her Instagram "equal rights now!" personality
> Now I'm here, and drunk, and alone, and missing Luis. Before my last relationship, I kept having urges to ask my really close guy friends to hook up to try and capture that same fire. Now the urges are back, but I know I can't do that, because i'd be self-destructing the few good relationships I have.
Not looking for advice, homosexuality isnt the answer for me, just wanted to share in a space that might "get it". If you recognize my story from /b/ a few years ago, hi, here's my life update.
>I said he was using me and said he basically sexually assaulted me the first night we hooked up, which wasn't true, I was consenting in everything I did but I just wanted to cut him deep.
>We break things off super messily, and quite literally never talked again. That was it. (I texted him about 3 years later and he told me to fuck off and never contact him again.)
>I was inconsolable for a few weeks, eventually I drowned it out in partying and girls. No surprise I'm a major alcoholic now.
>I did question my sexuality for a while, I even tried 2 casual hookups with guys, but I didn't enjoy it beyond the mechanics, I was more into the emotional aspects of sex with my best friend. I can't say I'm 100% straight, because with that one relationship I did enjoy the gay parts about it. If I had to label it, I would say I'm bi but very demisexual with men and not at all that way with women.
>I recently had a very strong relationship with a woman with lots of the same emotional closeness, which made me more comfortable in my heterosexuality. She broke it off with me after hearing this story. She claims it's not that it was gay but that it feels like I'm chasing something I'll never get back, which wasn't true then. I know homophobia had a lot to do with it despite her Instagram "equal rights now!" personality
> Now I'm here, and drunk, and alone, and missing Luis. Before my last relationship, I kept having urges to ask my really close guy friends to hook up to try and capture that same fire. Now the urges are back, but I know I can't do that, because i'd be self-destructing the few good relationships I have.
Not looking for advice, homosexuality isnt the answer for me, just wanted to share in a space that might "get it". If you recognize my story from /b/ a few years ago, hi, here's my life update.