Anonymous
10/11/2025, 7:08:37 AM
No.24790877
>>24790170
Yeah, you're right. I've been reading too many web novels recently.
>>24790197
>Give us a scene how the dragons are clever. Not to mention we know nothing about Vincent except he was tricked by dragons somehow.
I thought that was obvious, but perhaps it isn't.
"They say that every dragon has a weakness - their reverse scale."
It's a saying that people have about dragons and what their ultimate weakness is. That's the trick though - dragons convinced humans that they have a weakness that doesn't exist. They did it by spreading this as common wisdom/a saying. I play into the "they" part of "they say".
Vincent gets his hopes crushed, because what his hopes relied upon ended up being a lie. He regains hope when he realizes that all-powerful beings wouldn't need to make up such a lie in the first place. The dragons wouldn't put in so much effort for no reason. The lie is misdirection to stop people from investigating what their actual weakness is.
>>24790202
>Why is his gaze being described if he's the PoV? Hope and determination might fill his heart, but only his gaze if someone else is looking at him. Why is the sword light if he's feeling suddenly defeated? Shouldn't it feel heavy? Heavy is usually associated with negative emotions, light with positive.
You are completely correct. I don't know what I was thinking. I might be an ESL, but I do know everything you mentioned.
>The scene is definitely oddly paced though. Too quick. We go from low point to "solution" in like three sentences.
I felt that there needed to be something in between there too, but I couldn't come up with anything that fit properly.
>>24790514
I've been learning to write over the past few months. I was looking into how to start a story and went through a bunch of the ones that I liked. I came up with this as an example start for a story: a mystery that leads to character emotion, while there's an impending conflict. The idea being that this sets up the goal of finding what the true weakness of dragons is to defeat them.
Thank you for the feedback, everyone.
Yeah, you're right. I've been reading too many web novels recently.
>>24790197
>Give us a scene how the dragons are clever. Not to mention we know nothing about Vincent except he was tricked by dragons somehow.
I thought that was obvious, but perhaps it isn't.
"They say that every dragon has a weakness - their reverse scale."
It's a saying that people have about dragons and what their ultimate weakness is. That's the trick though - dragons convinced humans that they have a weakness that doesn't exist. They did it by spreading this as common wisdom/a saying. I play into the "they" part of "they say".
Vincent gets his hopes crushed, because what his hopes relied upon ended up being a lie. He regains hope when he realizes that all-powerful beings wouldn't need to make up such a lie in the first place. The dragons wouldn't put in so much effort for no reason. The lie is misdirection to stop people from investigating what their actual weakness is.
>>24790202
>Why is his gaze being described if he's the PoV? Hope and determination might fill his heart, but only his gaze if someone else is looking at him. Why is the sword light if he's feeling suddenly defeated? Shouldn't it feel heavy? Heavy is usually associated with negative emotions, light with positive.
You are completely correct. I don't know what I was thinking. I might be an ESL, but I do know everything you mentioned.
>The scene is definitely oddly paced though. Too quick. We go from low point to "solution" in like three sentences.
I felt that there needed to be something in between there too, but I couldn't come up with anything that fit properly.
>>24790514
I've been learning to write over the past few months. I was looking into how to start a story and went through a bunch of the ones that I liked. I came up with this as an example start for a story: a mystery that leads to character emotion, while there's an impending conflict. The idea being that this sets up the goal of finding what the true weakness of dragons is to defeat them.
Thank you for the feedback, everyone.