Anonymous
10/29/2025, 12:13:56 PM
No.24838695
>>24837169
Its actually not terrible, but I think the repeating of "your hair" is a bit redundant , you've already said something about her hair, say something about another feature. A woman's hair is a piece of her beauty, but it is not the totality of it. Also the fact you're writing it for a celebrity sucks all the soul out of it. If you had written this for your girlfriend or even a lover that you lost it would be nice, but it's about a pop-star you have never met so it's pathetic.
Its actually not terrible, but I think the repeating of "your hair" is a bit redundant , you've already said something about her hair, say something about another feature. A woman's hair is a piece of her beauty, but it is not the totality of it. Also the fact you're writing it for a celebrity sucks all the soul out of it. If you had written this for your girlfriend or even a lover that you lost it would be nice, but it's about a pop-star you have never met so it's pathetic.