I'm sincerely sorry to hear that anon, and I hope things get better for you, the first step is recognising there is something wrong, the second step is identifying what's causing this to happen, the third step is to try and repair damage, sincerely apologise to those you have wronged and ask to be forgiven, and if they don't forgive you know that god understands you, and will forgive you for any evil deed if you sincerely repent of it. Hope this helps and hope you get your life back on track