Anonymous
6/21/2025, 2:39:08 PM
No.81563583
>>81563206
Same if the amount i didn't even spend on drugs but rather just pharma <yk I wouldn't want ANYTHING mental health related on my record cause its like insurances would refuse one at affordable plans if you have even just ADHD ... depression even if cured looks very very bad and would have prevented me from lets say getting adhd meds affordable now OR like would triple my risk score for getting an insurence>
BUT IF like I'd have just kept that amount I spend on this id now not have to ever work a second in my life
>meh ...
Did find a simple way to cope though, Thinking about chance is sorta retarded if you think about it. Everything is chance like IF i was some other sperm back then I'd maybe have the face of a model and life would be easy, Or if my dad would have done one or two things different by chance I'd be rich now . At any point in life all chances exist simultaniously ... it woudn't be impossible real chance doesn't really exist like getting something and then losing it instantly technically seen is as unfortunate as never having gotten it we humans just sorta associate chance with value but in the scope of the universe it doesn't really exist. Its an entirely human thing. Ofc you can use chance to predict things but all chance that lies in the past is technically seen irrelevant dunno how to explain it. Like what is the chance that you are alive at this moment that this planet is in this part of the galaxy during this time that the planets line up the way they do that life formed that earth isn't 40 degrees warmer making life impossible dunno I hope you remotely see what I mean with that chance up against other chances in a way doesn't matter if the chance already took place.
What I feel appealing about religion in my case is also that I can always claim that "god has a plan for me" , this allows me to take misfortune and claim it was fortune as maybe the other path was bad. Who knows if if I got rich id not just buy heroin and then OD
Same if the amount i didn't even spend on drugs but rather just pharma <yk I wouldn't want ANYTHING mental health related on my record cause its like insurances would refuse one at affordable plans if you have even just ADHD ... depression even if cured looks very very bad and would have prevented me from lets say getting adhd meds affordable now OR like would triple my risk score for getting an insurence>
BUT IF like I'd have just kept that amount I spend on this id now not have to ever work a second in my life
>meh ...
Did find a simple way to cope though, Thinking about chance is sorta retarded if you think about it. Everything is chance like IF i was some other sperm back then I'd maybe have the face of a model and life would be easy, Or if my dad would have done one or two things different by chance I'd be rich now . At any point in life all chances exist simultaniously ... it woudn't be impossible real chance doesn't really exist like getting something and then losing it instantly technically seen is as unfortunate as never having gotten it we humans just sorta associate chance with value but in the scope of the universe it doesn't really exist. Its an entirely human thing. Ofc you can use chance to predict things but all chance that lies in the past is technically seen irrelevant dunno how to explain it. Like what is the chance that you are alive at this moment that this planet is in this part of the galaxy during this time that the planets line up the way they do that life formed that earth isn't 40 degrees warmer making life impossible dunno I hope you remotely see what I mean with that chance up against other chances in a way doesn't matter if the chance already took place.
What I feel appealing about religion in my case is also that I can always claim that "god has a plan for me" , this allows me to take misfortune and claim it was fortune as maybe the other path was bad. Who knows if if I got rich id not just buy heroin and then OD