>>81583286
>I realized all along I sort of expected to be happily married to a nice girl when I achieved my goals. That's what I actually wanted all along.
Your post is almost a mirror of my own thoughts, i also went through all of this and concluded i want to keep living to spite god and the world even if i have to endure hell itself, i will live off the hate, fear and pain of my enemies, i don't need happiness and hapiness isn't required of me either.
Soon a big war will come and we will be released to feast upon this world, they will all die screaming and in terror, there will be nothing to negotiate about because dead men have no use for shiny rocks or painted papers