Let's be hungry and sick to our stomach at the same time. Everyone else is disgusting, ugly, and fat. You are hated for not being evil and bad like them. You try to do the prosocial thing and worship evil with them. But you body rejects it. Perhaps you are not fully dedicated to evil and that is why you fail to become fat and bad like everyone else. It is frustrating. I have tried very hard to indulge in the sun of gluttony and lose myself to avarice and hatred. My body and soul are the only things holding me back.
It is a very curious thing when you think about it. I am a good person, but goodness is hated. Everyone is bad and evil. I try to satisfy them by conforming to their value system and comply with their expectations. But I fail because despite making my mind choose evil, my body and spirit object so strongly that I feel intense pain and suffering. I am incapable of doing anything wrong despite wanting to be a bad person very much. I wish to assimilate and be accepted by the inferior lesser beings around me. I'm am so frustrated. If I can't be evil and evil people reject me for this, I think maybe evil should be destroyed. As things currently are I believe I am being subjected to unfair treatment.