My mind is completely broken. I feel no joy no drive to do anything. Everything around me seems so disgusting and I hate myself to the depths of my being, I desire companionship yet feel I do not deserve it. I want an end to my pain yet feel I deserve more pain. What is there to do? I can not kill myself yet I can not live. I feel so trapped. Everyday I wake up hoping something just kills me. I have nothing and I can not take this anymore.