>>81960697
I am a suicidal thoughts survivor (had it for years). Used to have a noose hanging in my room for about a month before I pussied out.
What really helped me is moving out of home to my own place. Also prescription benzos help (with wine sometimes, good combo for me).
Try changing things up. If you can't move out, try to go on walks. Maybe find a hobby community to be apart of to take you away from your current situation and socialize a little (even if it's small talk, try to take interest). Maybe travel if you can. Some distance will give you a new prespective. Never told anyone about my sui thoughts or depression so never got ssris and I don't know very much about them. Best of luck, anon.