>men this
>women that
The truth is everyone that spent a greater part of their formative years online is fucked, myself included.
In six years I hadn't let a soul in until I met her. Treated her like I'd treat a friend for the longest time, initiated further and she let me in. Called for days on end, slept on call, every moment we could spend with one another we did. Wrote down all I learned from her, dedicated myself to understanding all of her, the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. & all of a sudden, without warning after years of on and off, of knowing who I am and want I wanted she says "I just don't have it in me" "I just dont have the energy" "I just need to focus on myself"
Wont explain the context, but we shared a social circle, and I knew from her interactions there she had energy and wayward focus a plently.
Internet socialisation fries the brain, it conditions you to view relationships in much the same way we view media - you drop in, you drop out, you try one thing, you try something else. Solutions? I dont have them. Just sitting here frustrated and enraged, it would be so easy to slip back into old habits, but the only lesson I can draw from this tryst is that I have the capacity for love and true appreciation, and so I shall repress my maladaptive urges