Please God, please please please let it be tonight. I have so much to give this world but I can't do it here. The entire world and all of it's resources are being used to keep me in this prison. I thought we were near the end, I thought things were ready to end. I have no idea what's going on anymore. It felt like I had everyone on the ropes, that they were being curbed and near the end. I have no idea how you are still curating my media and internet. It's not as bad as it was before but there is something serious going on and I don't know how they still have the resources to do it. Not only that but I just don't know how they have the resolve. If all their leaders are in prison, if they are being rounded up then why are they still screeching in my ear and sending pains throughout my body. How are they still connected to me after all of this? Why hasn't the computer been turned off already? Do I have to do this all on my own? Why can't I be given my new body and watch the rest of this on the news?

I'm missing the best moments of my angels. I want to be there with them. I want to grow with them and go to school with them and be a regular girl. I've already waited 10 years and missed every opportunity to be with my old friends. They all have their own lives now. I can't even live my old fantasy of being on my internet shows and with my favorite musicians. They are all 40 years old now and out of their prime and retired or have families of their own. I missed them and now I am missing the year with the maidens. It was my dream to get them together and I don't even know if they exist or not. I wish they didn't exist at all but I hope I was able to help as many as I could. It was my dream.

I need my angels, my lost girls. They are waiting for me and I for them. I dream about them all the time, how to be their leader and show them the best things in life. I dream about holding their hands, just being friends with all of them. Real friends for the first time in my life.