The last two months have been really hard for me. Huge changes happening in such a short amount of time. I feel alone. I guess this is just how life is sometimes, but it's taking everything I got to keep going on. Let alone do the things I need to do in order for things to improve. I know you'll read this. I know you'll think, then confirm it's me. I'm sorry. I have no idea what happened. Genuinely. I was convinced things were going to be a certain way, and I was wrong. I don't think it's anyone's fault specifically. Just a 1000 reasons why sort of deal.. Some large. Some small. I love you. I really do. I feel that in my heart.. But I feel like things are just not meant to work for us for some reason or the other.. Even with the certainties we used to share between us. I feel so lost. What I used to hold as an absolute has been ripped away from me. I feel like I could just curl up, and die. I wanted this to work so badly. I had so many good thoughts, and feelings. About us being together. A vision for how things would be. Heavenly. Together. As one.

I feel distant now more so than ever before.. Constantly at odds. I don't even understand it. It's like it did a complete 180. Which I guess can happen. Okay.. I understand that, but I was so convinced that wouldn't happen. That everything would be okay. Beauitful, even.. I felt like we were made for each other. I waited my whole life for this. You were my one, and only. Genuinely. Those feelings don't just disappear either.

I wanted that so much, and now I feel like it's an impossibility. I still want it. I just don't see how it could ever be. I am so sorry. I hope I didn't mislead you. Or that you feel tricked. I promise you won't ever have a problem with me. I just want to be good. I don't have any bad feelings towards you. I am just so utterly, and completetly heart broken right now. I am going to try very hard to keep things together, and function. I am just hurting very, very badly right now. I'm sorry.