Anonymous
9/12/2025, 6:42:17 AM
No.82476876
>>82476769
Now here is where I suppose a funny curve ball was thrown. After high school, I was able to mingle with adults a little bit more aware of how the world works. I am guessing that being out of the high school phase really does force people to adapt and be more open minded, at least for the most part.
Any who, after finally biting the bullet and believing in my current circumstances being a firm staple in my life, my approach towards everyone in general shifted. I didn't treat women any differently then I treated men. I just recognized everyone the same and allowed myself to be compassionate to a degree in those I encountered. Being a good listener growing up was pretty helpful and my diehard desire to rationalize everything that happened made me fit to paint the bigger picture for those who came to me for advice. In other words, I was a fairly decent person to keep as company and I think I was also considered a good friend. Welp, while I was going about my life, I was mildly accepting of the idea of not being designed to have a partner. Mildly as in the pain of it was terrible and aching, especially when watching anime or reading manga that had romance in the forefront. But I also kinda became addicted to that pain. I felt terrible and like a total underdog, but that sensation of feeling terrible was good. Maybe it was some sorta elaborate self-pity that became motivation. Or perhaps a cope that replaced the lacking passion and happiness in my life. Some sorta form of dopamine to envision scenarios where I wasn't the hero of any story. I was the scrapped background character that didn't even make it in the concept art book released years after a heroes story was released. Since these feelings didn't affect how I treated people and I was just genuinely trying to be nice, I didn't notice that some of the company around me thought better of me in ways I couldn't have expected. Girls around me thought I looked cute. Crazy, right?
Now here is where I suppose a funny curve ball was thrown. After high school, I was able to mingle with adults a little bit more aware of how the world works. I am guessing that being out of the high school phase really does force people to adapt and be more open minded, at least for the most part.
Any who, after finally biting the bullet and believing in my current circumstances being a firm staple in my life, my approach towards everyone in general shifted. I didn't treat women any differently then I treated men. I just recognized everyone the same and allowed myself to be compassionate to a degree in those I encountered. Being a good listener growing up was pretty helpful and my diehard desire to rationalize everything that happened made me fit to paint the bigger picture for those who came to me for advice. In other words, I was a fairly decent person to keep as company and I think I was also considered a good friend. Welp, while I was going about my life, I was mildly accepting of the idea of not being designed to have a partner. Mildly as in the pain of it was terrible and aching, especially when watching anime or reading manga that had romance in the forefront. But I also kinda became addicted to that pain. I felt terrible and like a total underdog, but that sensation of feeling terrible was good. Maybe it was some sorta elaborate self-pity that became motivation. Or perhaps a cope that replaced the lacking passion and happiness in my life. Some sorta form of dopamine to envision scenarios where I wasn't the hero of any story. I was the scrapped background character that didn't even make it in the concept art book released years after a heroes story was released. Since these feelings didn't affect how I treated people and I was just genuinely trying to be nice, I didn't notice that some of the company around me thought better of me in ways I couldn't have expected. Girls around me thought I looked cute. Crazy, right?