>>82554175
Being a father and a familyman does give me purpose, and "A man with a why can bear almost any how", that's why I can confidently say that I won't die until my children are adults.
Doesn't prevent me from being unhappy though, that's two different things I guess. As to the why I have big marriage issues, my relationship with my wife has been declining slowly over the years and I've been grasping as everything I can to try to keep it together but it's still falling apart and it's killing me slowly, terrible feeling to be a such a failure of a man every day that I can't satisfy my wife's needs and wants.
She kind of thinks I'm a loser that lacks ambition, doesn't earn enough money, doesn't have hobbies that interest her, etc. So she barely looks at me, barely ever touches me, barely ever interest herself in what I think.
We're not modern people so we don't believe in divorce except in extreme cases, neither she nor I will leave just because we're unhappy with the other, or fell out of love, or whatever. So it's not such an achievement to not have her divorce me lol, I'd have to beat her for that to happen.

I like stims, psychs, and downers. Empathogens, a lot, like MDMA, 6-APB, 3-MMC, etc. classic psychs like LSD and psilocybin, and downers like phenibut and GHB. Don't really have a DoC, I don't have habits or addictions.

Thanks for reading my blogpost.