>>82744189
It was the weirdest thing, it was me being asked out that sent him into a weird emotional spiral.
He came home, and we had a long debate about the thing he wanted to discuss, how to act around mom and stuff, and i have to say a lot of things we casually did before he said we should not do anymore, even basic stuff like how physical i was with him when we go to the pool, or how i randomly start giving him a back massage if i see him like, sitting on the couch or at his pc. Little things like this, it will be really hard to get used to not doing those when mom is around. I never thought these were weird things, i mean i did actually sexual stuff like showing off to him and other stuff, but these always felt like being normal.
But anyway so after a long talk about this, i said i wanted to talk about what happened yesterday, and he said he doesn't want to and i should just forget it, but i didn't just let him shoo me away this time, and i wanted to tell him again how much i adore him and that it hurts me that he sees himself like a bad person, and he went on about how he knows now, and that it's fucking with him. Basically what he said is that he thought i was lonely, and that was a part of why i had such an attachment to him. He thought i couldn't get a boyfriend or something like that and that made me want him as a "last resort". But he said him hearing about me being asked out last week made him realize i really just want this genuinely. He asked me how many times i was asked out, and i said a couple but i always said no because i consider myself taken, and he kinda raised his voice at me and said like why don't i say yes to someone who is not him, and i was like because i love you, i don't care if i'm not allowed to, i still do, i don't care if those bitches made you think you are not a good guy to date, you are, and i love you, not them. And he kinda went on another small rant about if i realize what loving him even means