nomi_raring
10/8/2025, 10:39:29 PM
No.82744476
>>82744393
ran out of space
basically if i understand what loving him even means. Can't tell anyone, can't let anyone from family or friends find out, have to hide it always and pretend we are just friendly with each other, and when i'm older, it would mean never talking to mom or anyone else from our family again, same for my friends and etc. And i kinda just told him that i don't care because he is worth it, and i told him a bunch of things i liked about him, and he started crying. Not like full on crying but like a tear or two and he was like shaking and sat on the bed and just asked me like what if i never choose you, would you still feel like this? and i just sat to him and i just explained to him that this was basically the last 10 years of my life. Watching him date other girls i hated, watching him be mistreated and having to say nothing and act excited when he came home happy to tell us he got a new girlfriend AGAIN and then have to sit there and watch him cry into my shoulder and be depressed and devastated when they broke his heart AGAIN. And we just kept talking like this for a good while
And then i asked him if i could kiss him again, but this time not begging like before but just asked him if i could because i really wanted to, and he let me, and it felt so much nicer. Like it wasn't the same as first time, he didn't instantly pull away and he even like, grabbed my head with his hand from behind, like he put his hand into my hair at the back of my head, it felt so beautiful
And then today was also very nice, we kinda just procrastinated the whole day, but in a nice way. I came home from school, and he was already home, sleeping in his room, and i just kinda laid down to him and cuddled up and he woke up and kinda just had this "too tired for everything" feel to him, so he just pulled out his phone and we watched some instagram reels together and then some youtube videos, but he didn't tell me to go away or anything, he just let me keep him company.
ran out of space
basically if i understand what loving him even means. Can't tell anyone, can't let anyone from family or friends find out, have to hide it always and pretend we are just friendly with each other, and when i'm older, it would mean never talking to mom or anyone else from our family again, same for my friends and etc. And i kinda just told him that i don't care because he is worth it, and i told him a bunch of things i liked about him, and he started crying. Not like full on crying but like a tear or two and he was like shaking and sat on the bed and just asked me like what if i never choose you, would you still feel like this? and i just sat to him and i just explained to him that this was basically the last 10 years of my life. Watching him date other girls i hated, watching him be mistreated and having to say nothing and act excited when he came home happy to tell us he got a new girlfriend AGAIN and then have to sit there and watch him cry into my shoulder and be depressed and devastated when they broke his heart AGAIN. And we just kept talking like this for a good while
And then i asked him if i could kiss him again, but this time not begging like before but just asked him if i could because i really wanted to, and he let me, and it felt so much nicer. Like it wasn't the same as first time, he didn't instantly pull away and he even like, grabbed my head with his hand from behind, like he put his hand into my hair at the back of my head, it felt so beautiful
And then today was also very nice, we kinda just procrastinated the whole day, but in a nice way. I came home from school, and he was already home, sleeping in his room, and i just kinda laid down to him and cuddled up and he woke up and kinda just had this "too tired for everything" feel to him, so he just pulled out his phone and we watched some instagram reels together and then some youtube videos, but he didn't tell me to go away or anything, he just let me keep him company.