Anonymous
10/12/2025, 5:05:44 AM
No.82776876
>>82776386
Thanks, but the thing is, it doesn't really bother me despite the fact that it probably should. Likely the reason why is because it's simply how I existed for all the 22 years I'm alive. It's just the way my life is, I got so accustomed to it that I can hardly even imagine it otherwise at this point. I'm very dependent on her too, again, I fully consciously understand that it's unhealthy how dependent im on her, and how much she owns me as essentially the thing to fill the void, but apart from the consciousness to realize it, there is no resistance or will to change it there. Well, that, and also that I'm secretly bad shit crazy in love with my mom and fantasize about her pretty much every time I jerk off or think about anything sexual. Like if I'm jerking off while she is home, I always whisper stuff like "I love you mom" to myself, and when I do it when she is not, I just moan it loudly, because it feels good to direct it at her.
Its kinda how she got me to ruin my father's life too. My dad is definitely the kind of man who always wanted a son, you know, a "champ" and a "sport" to bond with and have guy time with. Maybe a bit earlier than he planned because he got my mom pregnant before she even turned 17, and from what he told me, he is pretty sure she lied about being on birth control, but he was still excited. He was kinda like Georgey from Young Sheldon, he just wanted to be a dad. Yeah, that did not happen. My mom pushed him out of my brain. I remember ever since I was little how much she trash talked him to me, and literally even said stuff like "you need to stick with me, because daddy doesn't love you like I do, sweetie" while coddling me when I was little, or similar phrases. Also, she was lowkey abusive towards him, both physically and especially mentally. But to me, he was almost a stranger in our house, he was just the guy who made her unhappy. It was obviously the opposite, but mom said it was so, so in my brain it simply was so.
Thanks, but the thing is, it doesn't really bother me despite the fact that it probably should. Likely the reason why is because it's simply how I existed for all the 22 years I'm alive. It's just the way my life is, I got so accustomed to it that I can hardly even imagine it otherwise at this point. I'm very dependent on her too, again, I fully consciously understand that it's unhealthy how dependent im on her, and how much she owns me as essentially the thing to fill the void, but apart from the consciousness to realize it, there is no resistance or will to change it there. Well, that, and also that I'm secretly bad shit crazy in love with my mom and fantasize about her pretty much every time I jerk off or think about anything sexual. Like if I'm jerking off while she is home, I always whisper stuff like "I love you mom" to myself, and when I do it when she is not, I just moan it loudly, because it feels good to direct it at her.
Its kinda how she got me to ruin my father's life too. My dad is definitely the kind of man who always wanted a son, you know, a "champ" and a "sport" to bond with and have guy time with. Maybe a bit earlier than he planned because he got my mom pregnant before she even turned 17, and from what he told me, he is pretty sure she lied about being on birth control, but he was still excited. He was kinda like Georgey from Young Sheldon, he just wanted to be a dad. Yeah, that did not happen. My mom pushed him out of my brain. I remember ever since I was little how much she trash talked him to me, and literally even said stuff like "you need to stick with me, because daddy doesn't love you like I do, sweetie" while coddling me when I was little, or similar phrases. Also, she was lowkey abusive towards him, both physically and especially mentally. But to me, he was almost a stranger in our house, he was just the guy who made her unhappy. It was obviously the opposite, but mom said it was so, so in my brain it simply was so.