She came over again yesterday

A part of me hoped that I wouldn't feel like I was underwater after.

Maybe sex would make a difference.

Date went well, went as expected..
She had a great time. Beaming and all. Didn't want to go back to hers.

I still felt underwater after

I just feel like part me is dead. I close my eyes and I feel m and hear what she's saying. She's upset. It's upsetting.

I don't want this

It's the difference of what means everything to me. It's still incredible to me how simple it was during the time. It just is, you know? Tired of feeling that hollow spot, underwater. Tired of the hurt.