I really don't get it I'm a firm believer in that nothing in this world matters, not in the doomer way mind you. But rather the sense that because nothing matters there's nothing stopping you from being your true authentic self without fear of how others will perceive you and your actions. Despite this I can't actually follow through with that part, I am constantly haunted by the fear others will disapprove of me. Instead of trying to be myself I shut myself off to the point I even downplay my own interests when talking with friends for fear of being rejected for liking them.
And no this isn't about being afraid of coming out.