>>82955547
It was always a total lie. I'm 28 as well, been here for 20 years, raped when I was 8 as well, nothing ever gets better or changes unless you fundamentally change yourself, which is difficult if not impossible to do.
For example, suicidal ideations haven't gone away since my teen years. Plenty of reasons not to do it, but living isn't one of them, and it gets harder every day.
Go try and make those changes anyways, you've gotten this far, do you really have anything to lose?