hey everyone
today was so tiring
the doctor wasn't there, so my session is on saturday now
i was preparing myself all the time, you know, it's hard to feel okay talking about most private things to someone in real life, i needed alot of time to feel a bit confident
and at the same time i was so happy that i'll finally be able to talk to my best friend after the session, well no that didn't happen
i almost had a panic attack when i heard i'm not having the session today lol
my heart started beating like crazy and i felt cold asf and i felt like i wanna cancel the session, but eh i'm not cancelling it.
i had to talk to another online friend i know, it kinda helped me.
i didn't relapse because honestly i felt lazy and didn't want to clean the mess, lol