Anonymous
7/17/2025, 7:28:06 PM
No.715726831
>>715726194
Anon, did YOU watch the video? Olivia says she got the idea to do this, but with seconds thoughts. What is she having seconds thoughts about? Hurting the feelings of people we never knew existed, are never brought up again, and even in this very conversation we don't even know what they'd think. Olivia doesn't even guess. This is all put there in favor of explaining after the fact why she did the thing. Why do you think all she says about the other characters who DO appear in the story that she doesn't know? Do you think the rest of the Payne household didn't hear her thrashing around practicing? She never once fell? It's not explained because it doesn't uphold the internal logic of the story. Damien and the rest are never made to know because it would make a D-plot nobody needs. This results in this being a surprise. Surprises for the character and the player are very different things, but I realized I phrased this poorly. Yes, you're right that it makes sense for Olivia to want to surprise Inco, but it's not foreshadowed in any way. Does it make sense for the player to expect a surprise? No. That makes it a very impactful thing, because a surprise like that is a narrative tool. So is it a plot twist? No. Does it have longterm payoffs that nothing else but this specific surprise could provide? No. Does it come up in any other scene later than the one justifying its existence? No. That makes this into a subversion at best. If it had more weight then it'd be a pull rug. This is a terrible choice for a writer, introducing an emphasized story element and letting it go immediately afterwards because it delivered its cookie points.
Anon, did YOU watch the video? Olivia says she got the idea to do this, but with seconds thoughts. What is she having seconds thoughts about? Hurting the feelings of people we never knew existed, are never brought up again, and even in this very conversation we don't even know what they'd think. Olivia doesn't even guess. This is all put there in favor of explaining after the fact why she did the thing. Why do you think all she says about the other characters who DO appear in the story that she doesn't know? Do you think the rest of the Payne household didn't hear her thrashing around practicing? She never once fell? It's not explained because it doesn't uphold the internal logic of the story. Damien and the rest are never made to know because it would make a D-plot nobody needs. This results in this being a surprise. Surprises for the character and the player are very different things, but I realized I phrased this poorly. Yes, you're right that it makes sense for Olivia to want to surprise Inco, but it's not foreshadowed in any way. Does it make sense for the player to expect a surprise? No. That makes it a very impactful thing, because a surprise like that is a narrative tool. So is it a plot twist? No. Does it have longterm payoffs that nothing else but this specific surprise could provide? No. Does it come up in any other scene later than the one justifying its existence? No. That makes this into a subversion at best. If it had more weight then it'd be a pull rug. This is a terrible choice for a writer, introducing an emphasized story element and letting it go immediately afterwards because it delivered its cookie points.