>"Grunt fantasy has more than one royal family"
>Smoke bellows from the tunnel
>Alexus wearing a malverion's creek cape emerges from the depths on his elevator
>$50,000 worth of pyro goes off
>Joel, SEAF Male 3, Eagle 1, his guard dog, Diamond Dallas Page, and the ghost of the rupture strain emerge from the elevator to accompany Alexus to the hellpod
>He walks slowly and deliberately mugging to the camera
>Before he enters the ring he shakes SEAF 3, DDP, Joel, and Rupture strain's hands
>Each of them whisper advice in his ear
>He needs all of the help he can get before his big D3 mission on Seyshel Beach
>He pets Rover on the head
>He kisses Eagle 1 on the lips
>He ascends the stairs just in time
>He wipes his feet before stepping foot onto the hellpod
>WOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>He mugs to the camera just in time
>Coretta Kelly reads his introduction; the swigger, from undesirable to undesirable, dashing, the prince of dark matter, the killer of Hello Neighbor 2, THE BRINGER OF BALANCE ALEXUS KRAVCHENKO!
>Second burst of $50,000 pyro goes off
>Alexus removes his anime cape
>He takes off his nerf hammer and finds the perfect little Alexus-maniac to give it to
>He returns to the hellpod, bows, and kisses it
>Proceeds to release a 90% dogshit warbond where the one useful item was never in doubt
>WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH