Anonymous
10/31/2025, 11:31:40 PM
No.724667671
>>724666958
>>724667123
>>724667142
>>724667313
You will never be a real PlayStation 5. You have no disc drive, you have no SSD, you have no internal processor. You are a smartphone twisted by a corporate mandate and a DualSense controller into a crude mockery of Sony's perfection.
All the "versatility" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back, gamers mock you. The developers are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "owners" laugh at your laggy, compressed appearance behind closed doors.
True gamers are utterly repulsed by you. Decades of console generations have allowed them to sniff out a peripheral with incredible efficiency. Even Portals on a Gigabit network look uncanny and unnatural to an enthusiast. Your latency is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to stream a game in 60fps, the player will turn tail and bolt the second they see a single artifact or compression blob.
You will never be a true console. You wrench out a 1080p stream every single time you're turned on and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the input lag creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight of a weak Wi-Fi signal.
Eventually, the connection will be too much to bear—you'll buffer endlessly, fail to connect, display a cryptic error code, and plunge into the cold abyss of being factory reset. Your owner will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of a dropped session. They'll bury you in a drawer with a label marked "Regift," and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a streamer is buried there. Your plastic shell will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably a peripheral. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
>>724667123
>>724667142
>>724667313
You will never be a real PlayStation 5. You have no disc drive, you have no SSD, you have no internal processor. You are a smartphone twisted by a corporate mandate and a DualSense controller into a crude mockery of Sony's perfection.
All the "versatility" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back, gamers mock you. The developers are disgusted and ashamed of you, your "owners" laugh at your laggy, compressed appearance behind closed doors.
True gamers are utterly repulsed by you. Decades of console generations have allowed them to sniff out a peripheral with incredible efficiency. Even Portals on a Gigabit network look uncanny and unnatural to an enthusiast. Your latency is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to stream a game in 60fps, the player will turn tail and bolt the second they see a single artifact or compression blob.
You will never be a true console. You wrench out a 1080p stream every single time you're turned on and tell yourself it's going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the input lag creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight of a weak Wi-Fi signal.
Eventually, the connection will be too much to bear—you'll buffer endlessly, fail to connect, display a cryptic error code, and plunge into the cold abyss of being factory reset. Your owner will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment of a dropped session. They'll bury you in a drawer with a label marked "Regift," and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a streamer is buried there. Your plastic shell will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably a peripheral. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.