Thread 12321693

I feel as though I am fading away. I never existed to begin with but I was numbed to the pain. I grasped at a glimmer of hope only to have my hand cut off and be shown that I deserve nothing but what my pain and isolation. Is this all there will ever be? Am I this bad of a person that I deserve this fate?

>>12321693 (OP)
wow so le edgy, is this a discord bio material?

demoralization thread thridden

>>12321695
Is it edgy? It's just how I feel. I failed life LOLE! Sorry that reading about my pain caused you so much inconvenience that you felt the need to mock me for it.

>>12321693 (OP)
i wishe i could feel like i never existed tbdesu

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>12321713
I've felt that way but it fades when you get forced to confront reality once again. No matter how long I pretend not to exist once I come back I find that everything has only worsened. If there's an escape from this it must be facing things head on, yet my heart and soul are weak and brittle.

>>12321725
theres isnt really a way out just a way through, and i may hav misread u. do you also actually prefer to feel like you dont exist as a person? theres nothing id desire more than to be less significant have had less of an impact to have gone unnoticed and be easily forgettable, thats why i post here anonymously where my contributions can be happily uncredited because i want to be nobody.

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>12321693 (OP)
Perception is definitely a big part of it. That's a conscious choice that is entirely up to the individual, as well as how one's self is actively being perceived. That conscious shift? It's possible. Actively applying it to begin to see change begin to take shape? Takes time. The thing about the power of manifestation is that it requires the "belief in the belief" of something, and on a daily habitual basis. It all starts with that daily, conscious shift in perception...because if you don't begin to practice seeing the world (as well as yourself) through a different set of eyes, then how are you going to edit your internal belief system for the power of manifestation begin to naturally occur?

Food for thought, OP.

Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>12321738
I have lived my life as if I hadn't existed. I always let my environment and chance dictate my life and just go with the flow. I never existed as an active force of change in my own life and never had control over it. I'm already as basically insignificant as I can be while surviving and I don't know how to do anything but.
>>12321739
I've tried but I'm extremely dysfunctional and my self image is so low that I can't help but always be dragged back down by it even if I try to make change I always regress back into nothingness.

>>12321754
i feel like i havent had control either, but not even over my own mind which i disdain to even consider mine or for there to even be a me. you dont sound like a bad person like you inquire about in ur op, would you say you suffer because you just are a certain way but it brings you pain? and do you desire to change beyond feeling a little less tormented?

Your fortune: Excellent Luck

>>12321783
I am okay with my mind existing even though I may not have control over it as I let my fears and insecurities have great control over it. However I am very afraid of being perceived because I feel like any time I open up to someone or trauma dump my life is just too much for anyone to bare. I feel like other people think I'm not really worth knowing. I do suffer greatly from my own choices and how I decide to live in near total isolation. I have had a deep desire to change that about myself and my lifestyle but I've felt stuck in indecision for quite awhile now.

>>12321822 (dubs)
if you desire change then you see the world as redeemable, yourself likewise. im not sure there is much of a matter of deserved though, when it comes to the suffering, you cant help but be who you are. id say the fact that you dont want to have your back to the world means you have more than you might realise going for you, but maybe it only serves to bring more pain. who knows our fate.

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>12321851
It's a hard process to be sure... I am both afraid of being known but crave to be. It hurts that I hold myself back from anything I want and always self sabotage anything, or preemptively give up or reject myself before other people can do it to me.

actually you don't exist

WE ARE LIVING IN A SIMULATION

>>12321693 (OP)
Having thoughts like this is the most common thing that I've noticed from people who are depressed.

>>12321693 (OP)
is it mean to say i laughed at this because of the gif

>>12322530
Is this how you found this board, or you've always been here, but you've just started writing now?

>>12322530
Clannad means a lot to me because I saw it at an impressionable age and he is literally me... Even if it does look like I'm being a le cringe eboy that's why I used it...
>>12322520
Big if true