>>12343056I'm curious how it feels as an atheist to live life not accepting or receiving God's love and support. Like for me, I've just always had a sense for God's presence at a young age. I'd talk to God when I'm lonely or feeling like my parents were being too rough on me, not understanding me fully.
I wouldn't have anybody else but God. These were like kindergarten and elementary school years. I had friends, but I never felt one-on-one close enough for them to understand the inner me vs. the social persona me. But God was there, and I felt it.
Just now to share how it comes across. I've been pretty lazy the last couple days, staying up all night, not taking care of my responsibilities.
I got checked up on by my dad and friend of the family, they called my phone, but I didn't answer because I didn't want to reveal the condition I was in, just wasting time on s4s, did an all-nighter. They wanted me to be on a better schedule, practicing good habits.
So I left the house went a few blocks outside the neighborhood to the main street with cars passing by fast to call them back, to pass off a lie that I was outside riding my bike and just didn't hear their call, had phone on vibrate. They bought the story, and I still understandably got beat up over not answering right away. So I felt down but relieved that my lie ended up successful.
When I was out, my legs were itching horribly, so it was tough to run. I looked down at my legs and they had some scratch marks I didn't remember seeing or making before. Could feel it being some Devil persecution in my body over being in my messy room on the floor with my laptop just wasting time on s4s, sleeping through the day, and gooning (sinning basically, so I was reasonably getting some chains and flak put on me with God placing me closer in the realm of the Devil for not being there for God enough).
