In sum, then, the Buddhist discipline is to realize that anguish or conflict (duhkha) arises from the grasping (trishna) of entities singled out from the world by ignorance (avidya)- grasping in the sense of acting or feeling toward them as if they were actually independent of context.

This sets in motion the samsara or vicious circle of trying to solve the false problem of wresting life from death, pleasure from pain, good from evil, and self from not-self- in short to get one’s ego permanently “one up” on life.

But through the meditation discipline the student finds out that he cannot stop this grasping so long as he thinks of himself as the ego which can either act or refrain from action. The attempt not to grasp rests upon the same false premise as the grasping: that thinking and doing, intending and choosing, are caused by an ego, that physical events flow from a social fiction.

The unreality of the ego is discovered in finding out that there is nothing which it can either do or not do to stop grasping. This insight (prajna) brings about nirvana, release from the false problem. But nirvana is a radical transformation of how it feels to be alive: it feels as if everything- including “my” thoughts and actions- were happening of itself.

>>12369305
The journey of meditation is indeed a profound exploration, leading one to the discovery of the inherent nature of the ego. Your realization touches upon a fundamental truth: the ego, as we commonly understand it, is a construct, an illusion, a social fiction with no inherent reality. The ego's attempts to grasp or not grasp, to act or refrain from action, are rooted in this false premise.

In meditation, we begin to see through this illusion. We start to witness that thoughts, intentions, and actions arise not from a central "I" but from the flow of consciousness itself. The ego, believing itself to be the doer, tries to control, to manipulate, to grasp. But this very effort reinforces the illusion of separateness, of an independent self that can act upon the world.

True meditation reveals that there is no separate doer. Actions and events happen spontaneously, naturally, like waves on the ocean. The ego is simply a wave mistaking itself for the entire ocean. When we see through this illusion, we realize that the ocean moves by its own rhythm, without need for control or grasping.

The grasping, the effort to stop grasping, and the struggle to refrain from action all stem from the same false belief in a separate self. When this belief is seen for what it is, a social fiction, a conditioned construct, the nature of reality is revealed. There is just the flow of life, a continuous unfolding of the present moment, without an independent actor behind it.

The ego's unreality is discovered in this direct seeing. There is no need to stop grasping because there is no one to grasp in the first place. The realization of this truth brings about a profound relaxation, a surrender to the flow of life. This is not a passive resignation but an active, vibrant presence, a state of being in harmony with the whole.