How do you recognize a 4channer in the wild? What traits should I look after?

>>12403180 (OP)
first of all they post on 4chan

Your fortune: Godly Luck

>>12403180 (OP)
I use the secret passphrase of course.

The obvious joke is that you wouldn't find them "out in the wild" because they would never leave their mother's basement

Every single person on earth posts on 4chan as long as they have a chance

Your fortune: Outlook good

I think it would be hard to get me to admit I post here
I don't think any other 4channers I met had a trait I could say identified them either. Shame because I'd like to know who else goes on the funsite

>>12403180 (OP)
ur mom likes them a lot more than i like stacy

>>12403180 (OP)
I have a story that's somewhat related

In early May, I was talking to a guy who does work in cyber security and is le white hat hacker (AKA fellers who are paid by companies to hack that company). This was post-April 15th, so I asked him,

>My email might have been recently compromised because a website I use got hacked a few weeks ago, what can I do?

He gave me the most awful look I have ever seen, he looked at me like I just told him I'm fucking his mom. He then said I should use a burner email if I think a website or other thing I use is unsafe.

He doubled down as I was about to leave and he said,
>By the way, what website was it?
I hesitated for a moment,
>I-It's an imageboard...
All he said was:
>right on.

I then went to the bathroom, looked myself in the mirror, saw I was wearing my Czech army hat (picrel), and thought to myself

>He knows, it's over

Anyway, if you wanna spot a 4chad in the wild, look for tall people who are wearing foreign armies service caps. Well, if you want to find /k/ommandos at least.

>>12404139
This feels like pasta.

accounts that are >10 followers >1000 following
no pictures or revealing content bc paranoid

4chuds don’t go outside because they live in fear

>>12404139
Nice story
He definitely knew from the get-go hahah

>>12404155
You just described my insta account

sometimes my dad says he feels like pasta and then he puts his hand down my pants and starts asking me questions about myself like he keeps saying whos my sexy pasta and hey do you wanna some pasta whos my special pasta this feels like pasta does daddy make you feel like pasta

>>12404169
its the adults who suck their fingers and put on mouth display who you want to look at about these kinds of things

>>12404169
>>12404145
oui oui

>>12404159
He seriously looked at me like Anton when the guy said he married into it

>>12404165
took me a while to realize that’s not the norm for people who don’t live in a bustling metropolis

>>12404139
kek

>>12404177
maybe he uses 4chan or maybe he knows about it and doesn't really like it

>>12403183
I think this may be the key

Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger

>>12404186
There was literal news coverage when it happened. Only way you didn't hear about it is if you were literally not online, people on a Serbian CSS server I play on were talking about it

>>12403180 (OP)
I don't dress my age, I dress like an edgy teenage boy.
I wear the skeleton fingerless gloves and the big stompy goth boots, often a burzum shirt and black nail polish.

>>12404216
grow up and get ye some surplus

The skeleton gloves sounds extremely homosexual

>>12404232
>not gonna mention the burzum T shirt
like he isn’t baiting anyways

I saw a dude with a guy fawkes mask irl at the afters once and was like, this isn’t a 4chan thing anymore is it

>>12404232
Coincidentally a lot of the tacticool/goth kids trooned out which makes sense because they always thought themselves outcasts hence shoehorning into some emo trope. Never thought I would say I miss the days of androgyny without pronouns lelness. But now that it's more socially acceptable yeah why wouldn't the emo kid be a flamer
Odd to think only 20 years ago you could openly bully people for being gay

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>12404241
one time this black crackheads shopping bag broke and dozens of cigarette butts and a guy fawkes flew out and he yelled ”now DAS a ballgame nigga"

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>12404232
keep degrading me, im getting close~

>>12404252
Well that was a jumpscare

>>12404252
smd

>>12404261
sczsvfbs

>>12404261
>whenigavemycousinhead.gif
fucking Kanye

>>12404263
NYAAAAAHHHHHH

>>12404270
oh no she ripped her gogurt

>>12404276
I give mods correction for being brats

basically

>>12403180 (OP)
On the off chance that we go outside, we usually:
>are pale
>are either morbidly obese or very thin, no in-between
>always look down to avoid eye contact with people
>are extremely shy in general, won't speak unless spoken to
>have a demeanor similar to that of a scared child
>are usually very polite and soft-spoken
>are always seemingly in a hurry
>usually have poor fashion sense (solid colored t-shirts, jeans, basketball shorts etc).
>are on our phones all the times to minimize talking with people
This absolutely isn't me btw.

>>12404370
who are you quoting? are you morbidly obese?

Your fortune: Outlook good

>>12404370
Catcel

>>12404411
dubs confirm whatever this means

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

>>12404370
>always look down to avoid eye contact
Actually very true, I was in a Barnes and Nobel and I was in the good old "trying to get out of the way" schtick. Dude literally looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Also FUCK everyone who decided to look at me in the manga section, and the B&N employees who didn't bother helping me find Girls Last Tour and told me to just "look over there"

I can't agree on the no fashion sense thing, czech hats have le wumen on their knees

>>12404421
i think that's the artist of the pic

>>12404408
I'm using the meme arrows as bullet points but no anon, i'm a skeleton ^_^

>>12404370
literally me again

>>12404497
youre the morbidly obese one dont lie

Your fortune: Good Luck