>>509989359
Anon my great grandparents had several children before they turned 20 but they weren't running a global intelligence operation based on sexual trafficking and prostitution of minors on a private island where the world's elite were invited to party for grooming and blackmail purposes.

I'm sure they wanted those things, especially the mock Babylonian ritual temple, but instead they lived their lives as devout Christian farmers.

>>509919149
(G) here is his unqualified opinion on something and he is only being asked because it about petrol and he sells it

>>509788919

Part II: From cave wifi to interim president

>be me
>Ahmad al-Sharaa
>went from goat-path warlord to transitional president in like 3 speedruns
>Nov 2024: HTS offensive starts
>Dec 7: Palmyra falls
>Dec 8: Damascus taken
>Assad ejects to Moscow like it’s Modern Warfare 2
>declare transitional gov next day
>say “dialogue” like I didn’t just arrest 50 rival commanders
>Israel starts playing missile whack-a-mole
>US busy peacebrokering in the northeast
>SDF backs off, SNA stops yapping
>by Jan I’m president of post-Assad Syria
>put on suit, don’t blink for 3 months straight
>Feb: US drones old AQ boomers to show I’m the “clean” jihadist
>March: SDF dissolves
>I sign a Constitution that gives me executive powers for 5 years
>tfw I’m now legal dictator with UN approval lite™
>drop a cabinet with Kurds, Christians, and one guy who definitely runs a German NGO
>optics maxed
>May: US & EU lift sanctions
>Syria signs $7B oil deal
>tfw I used to smuggle diesel in buckets
>June: Syrian pound stronger than my third marriage
>people coming back
>bazaars open
>World Bank reopens loans
>walk through Damascus
>kids call me “rais”
>not even mad

>tfw the final form of the Syrian revolution is a bearded guy in a suit who speaks like a spreadsheet
>Assad fell
>ISIS fell
>FSA fell
>only I remained
>mfw I won