>>40743059
>Five of Pentacles, Judgement (R), Ace of Wands

You are basing your expectations too much around your past. You are in a sense, sabotaging yourself by expecting things to fail outright, because "why would this be any different than before" so to speak. This might not be apparent to you, but this perspective is eating away your charm. Either by making you not taking possible connections seriously enough, or being overly intense with others. It seems like you have a difficult time just letting things blossom in a fun way and at times its even preventing you from pursuing romantic relationships out of lack of self esteem. There's clearly a lot of healing to be done particularly when it comes to your own self confidence. You need to remember that you aren't just a one dimensional character in a novel or cartoon, but someone that's learning, have learned and growing up by all of your experiences, good and bad.

In simpler terms. You have a very poor opinion.of yourself, probably guilt trip your own self worth into thinking that nothing normal could happen to you which in turn makes everything either pessimistic as in "last chance" or at times even "why bother". You need to know that your own prejudice is a self defense mechanism rooted in fantasy. That you are good and jo less than anything else, no leas deserving of normalcy and.meaningful connections.