Long story short, there is this girl that is madly in love with me. We are both 25 and have known each other since freshman year of colllege. Not that it matters but her body count is 28 and mine is only 1. She’s told me that the reason we were never together is because she felt like she didn’t deserve to be loved, that things always felt so good with me but chose to be miserable with other guys that would lie and talk to multiple women. It’s hard not to feel like a dumbass that’s picking up the leftovers, but she’s drove 2 hours to my apartment, she’s cooked for me and bought me things. Told me how madly in love she is, it’s like she’s a different person than what I was used to. We’ve kissed and made out a bunch and she’s already slept over at my place and we have travel plans, she wants me to ask her to be my gf formally and she considers herself mine despite the fact we haven’t put a label on it yet. She’s told her parents, friends n shit about me. So idk lads, I didn’t really feel anything when I kissed her and deep down I kind of despise her for her past since it gives me disgust but at the same time I feel bad thinking only on negative things like that. Should I just go for it? This would be my first ever gf btw. She’s also willing to wait for me until I’m ready for sex, even though she’s practically begging me me for it. I’m scared of having sex cuz what if I can’t get hard or if all the loneliness and porn I’ve consumed has fucked me up. Am I cooked? Should I tell her no and keep looking?