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7/21/2025, 4:50:30 PM
Twilight's Felquines of Xenon
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/537057/twilights-felquines-of-xenon
I read it, a bunch of ideas that are never going to be fleshed out. Stuff like Equestria being in the Bootes void and apparently there being a mega planet with speck sized moons each the size of a planet?! to explain why some creatures are so much weaker than others despite being the same size and seemingly being able to interact together in the same universe? but this isn't fleshed out precisely since there is no story. What little story there is ... is just an anthology of mini "stories" in order to get past the fiction requirement.
I think the author in an almost Tamers kind of way knew exactly what he was doing. It's clear he gives 0 shits about any conventional immersion and fiction writing. His fiction reads more like some kind of biography school manual or some kind of wikipedia article especially when he starts providing a list.
It's a mess of everything but the kitchen sink ... or is it complete with the kitchen sink? You have these alicorn-tier ponies who apparently can bleed silver and blue? and there's no earth ponies? It's not very clear since there's nothing happening in practice, it reads more like a pitch bible for what's to come. If anything that's exactly what this is, a pitch bible to convince investors and to tell other artists what the guidelines for writing in this setting are.
I did not expect a poem and an anthem complete with a vocaroo link in this singing it.
It's a broken clock that's right twice a day.
There's a whole Loud House and Addam's Family of necromancer ponies which the author describes them as not ponies but still equine?
One of them drugs Anon to try to have sex with her before he dies but Anon is such a faggot and a coward he burns through the aphrodisiac? That's what I assume.
There's a goddamn grocery list of sci-fi vehicles, weapons and even a list of Mane6-but-modified.
The last chapter is apparently Luna going through Castle Maneia solving puzzles to find some book or a spell that enables her to travel through time by transforming into a chrysalis? It's a fever dream that's what it is. Or the book only led her to the location of where she has to go? I can't remember. Ah it was a diary of some 1000 year old explorer who goes through a booby-trapped dungeon that ends up getting his whole exploration team killed? I think that was what I read.
Overall I'm not sure if this is even good as a pitch bible, but I didn't read many pitch bibles.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/537057/twilights-felquines-of-xenon
I read it, a bunch of ideas that are never going to be fleshed out. Stuff like Equestria being in the Bootes void and apparently there being a mega planet with speck sized moons each the size of a planet?! to explain why some creatures are so much weaker than others despite being the same size and seemingly being able to interact together in the same universe? but this isn't fleshed out precisely since there is no story. What little story there is ... is just an anthology of mini "stories" in order to get past the fiction requirement.
I think the author in an almost Tamers kind of way knew exactly what he was doing. It's clear he gives 0 shits about any conventional immersion and fiction writing. His fiction reads more like some kind of biography school manual or some kind of wikipedia article especially when he starts providing a list.
It's a mess of everything but the kitchen sink ... or is it complete with the kitchen sink? You have these alicorn-tier ponies who apparently can bleed silver and blue? and there's no earth ponies? It's not very clear since there's nothing happening in practice, it reads more like a pitch bible for what's to come. If anything that's exactly what this is, a pitch bible to convince investors and to tell other artists what the guidelines for writing in this setting are.
I did not expect a poem and an anthem complete with a vocaroo link in this singing it.
It's a broken clock that's right twice a day.
There's a whole Loud House and Addam's Family of necromancer ponies which the author describes them as not ponies but still equine?
One of them drugs Anon to try to have sex with her before he dies but Anon is such a faggot and a coward he burns through the aphrodisiac? That's what I assume.
There's a goddamn grocery list of sci-fi vehicles, weapons and even a list of Mane6-but-modified.
The last chapter is apparently Luna going through Castle Maneia solving puzzles to find some book or a spell that enables her to travel through time by transforming into a chrysalis? It's a fever dream that's what it is. Or the book only led her to the location of where she has to go? I can't remember. Ah it was a diary of some 1000 year old explorer who goes through a booby-trapped dungeon that ends up getting his whole exploration team killed? I think that was what I read.
Overall I'm not sure if this is even good as a pitch bible, but I didn't read many pitch bibles.
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