dear friends. I'm asking seriously. If you want to make fun of me sure, but if anyone could help me.

I'm an alcoholic. I'm 140kg. I want to lose weight and stop drinking. I can't....
I know that the solution is to just
stop
but I literally can't......
at least I'm not just sitting in front of the screen, I'm going on a walk for about 30m everyday, and 5 times a week playing beatsaber for 20-120 mins.
I know if I stop drinking 10 beers a day, calories go down too, but it just makes me feel so good I can't not drink,.... I fucking hate myself for it.
I want to be an uwu cute femboy, but I'm a hairy fat fuck.... and I'm getting old for it. I turned 27 4 months ago. Even if I somehow start to lose weight, I would be 29 when I'd reach the ideal body weight IF I do everything right and don't relapse...
Just.... how do I not drink?