I get this feeling that's worse than depression at night, a hard-to-explain full-body reflective feeling that I'm a lonely loser. I want to get a job soon for some socialization, and I guess some money (but why), what is even the point of getting money. I think a girlfriend would genuinely fix me, a real human connection, I wouldn't have to be alone in this. I really think that's all a man needs. God deliver me from my cruel life.