>>717478543
I still can't beat Stage 4 Hard. My last attempt with Roboco I got so close only to get swarmed on minute 18 and I got deleted, and in a previous attempt I reached Goriela and she one shot me from full health with a rock throw.

I've failed to find someone to hook up with, and I have no idea how I'll ever find a partner. I got into vtubing in the first place after getting brutally rejected from the girl of my dreams and was feeling so lonely and the cute anime girls filled the void on my heart. I just liked having someone yap me to death about random shit. To me an ideal relationship is just sitting down bored with my gf both of us doing boring shit and just talking whatever the fuck comes into our minds. Just that is enough for me to consider it GFE.
In the end I'm not jealous of the person she's gonna marry, after all I don't know them. I'm jealous of her. I wanted camaraderie. I wanted to imagine her struggling with romance as much as I do even though I knew about the bf she said she had 6 years ago but I hoped they broke up or sth, to make me feel less lonely, to make me feel like it's not just me who's struggling with this shit, that even cute anime girls struggle with it, with socialization, with romance, with self-esteem, with loneliness and all that shit. Or maybe I actually hoped to hook up with her somehow who knows...
That's all I just wanted to type this shit out to process my feelings, for when I saw Nimi's announcement I felt a sharp pain in my heart and I want to make sense of it, because all this time I thought I was of the "the private life of the talent is up to the individual" persuasion yet my feelings tell otherwise...