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6/22/2025, 6:23:15 PM
>>42290572
>has also changed her profile to Creaturity
I, for one, welcome our monster mare overlords.
>I read the whole thing in one sitting over several hours.
Same, and I expected that I'd need to pause it to clubpost, but just couldn't do it—I had to finish it. I was also reading it pretty quickly, which usually means that the writing is either good or very bad. And it's definitely not very bad here. I didn't notice many grammar errors, actually, at least nothing too obviously wrong (not talking about one failed em-dash left as two hyphens). It could be that I wasn't paying enough attention, but nothing took me out of the story.
>fairly flat, but the story more than made up for them with the characters and general tone.
Yep. Nothing groundbreaking about the world, but this isn't a fic about that, and it still has a very solid FiM fairy tale feel.
>nice to start fresh from the ground up, even if most of the tropes and dynamics she fell back on were basically the same
Ha, I made the same observation in my notes. "Wait, it's all Mono's RariTwi again?" "Always has been."
>paraphrasing lines from the show
Sure, but I did the little nod to the HWE play (the part where Rarity rides Twilight) neat.
>once Twilight got to the changeling village (...) a poor narrative choice that felt contrived.
It's the weakest part of the fic. You're right; I think the idea was to stretch it just a bit longer before the resolution to not make it feel too abrupt, but keeping up the charades for months was dubious, and didn't meaningfully contribute to the difficult decision both of them faced regarding their identities.
>>42290578
Yep, good analysis. While I do enjoy trying to wrestle the non-obvious true meaning of a story sometimes, between all the various forms they go through, it was probably a good decision to keep it to mostly very clear terms here. And obviously having Rarity's appearance physically reflect her state was something the fic relied on a lot. The ending with each of them having one functioning eye was really sweet.
>>42290581
>I don't know if I'd give it a favourite; I'm tempted, but I still really dislike the execution of the final arc.
I mean, that part is not amazing, but there are still plenty of good bits in it (and by far the most of Ridge!). If you reserve the Favorites shelf for just the flawless stories, you'll maybe get a more representative selection of Fimfic's finest, but you'll also have very few stories on there. Some of my favorite fics have elements that I think are completely unsalvageable and awful, e.g., the last chapters/epilogues of Bug and BP. For me, this is one of the fics where the worse parts don't bring the good parts enough to deprive it of the place on the shelf.
>has also changed her profile to Creaturity
I, for one, welcome our monster mare overlords.
>I read the whole thing in one sitting over several hours.
Same, and I expected that I'd need to pause it to clubpost, but just couldn't do it—I had to finish it. I was also reading it pretty quickly, which usually means that the writing is either good or very bad. And it's definitely not very bad here. I didn't notice many grammar errors, actually, at least nothing too obviously wrong (not talking about one failed em-dash left as two hyphens). It could be that I wasn't paying enough attention, but nothing took me out of the story.
>fairly flat, but the story more than made up for them with the characters and general tone.
Yep. Nothing groundbreaking about the world, but this isn't a fic about that, and it still has a very solid FiM fairy tale feel.
>nice to start fresh from the ground up, even if most of the tropes and dynamics she fell back on were basically the same
Ha, I made the same observation in my notes. "Wait, it's all Mono's RariTwi again?" "Always has been."
>paraphrasing lines from the show
Sure, but I did the little nod to the HWE play (the part where Rarity rides Twilight) neat.
>once Twilight got to the changeling village (...) a poor narrative choice that felt contrived.
It's the weakest part of the fic. You're right; I think the idea was to stretch it just a bit longer before the resolution to not make it feel too abrupt, but keeping up the charades for months was dubious, and didn't meaningfully contribute to the difficult decision both of them faced regarding their identities.
>>42290578
Yep, good analysis. While I do enjoy trying to wrestle the non-obvious true meaning of a story sometimes, between all the various forms they go through, it was probably a good decision to keep it to mostly very clear terms here. And obviously having Rarity's appearance physically reflect her state was something the fic relied on a lot. The ending with each of them having one functioning eye was really sweet.
>>42290581
>I don't know if I'd give it a favourite; I'm tempted, but I still really dislike the execution of the final arc.
I mean, that part is not amazing, but there are still plenty of good bits in it (and by far the most of Ridge!). If you reserve the Favorites shelf for just the flawless stories, you'll maybe get a more representative selection of Fimfic's finest, but you'll also have very few stories on there. Some of my favorite fics have elements that I think are completely unsalvageable and awful, e.g., the last chapters/epilogues of Bug and BP. For me, this is one of the fics where the worse parts don't bring the good parts enough to deprive it of the place on the shelf.
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