If I eat a heavy dinner, the next day I'll have a colossal shit.
I'm talking 30-40 minutes of straight shitting.
It's not diarrhea, just old-fashioned honest coils of shit.
I have to flush the toilet halfway through because the shit piles up so high that it breaches the water.
You know why toilets have water? I learned why. It keeps the smell down.
I'll be shitting, and suddenly the smell is overwhelming, and I realize there's a little shit island.
I shit so much that my asshole hurts. I can't even sit, I have to lie on my stomach for an hour.
The worst part is I'll often need to take another shit right afterward.
I don't know why my digestive system started doing this. It's not even that much food. Yesterday I had a hamburger, a hotdog, and some watermelon for the 4th of July, and I swear I shat more than I ate.
Maybe it's because I eat a high-fiber diet with lots of fruit nowadays, but sometimes I'll eat a lot of meat, and the sudden change overwhelms my digestion.