>>279606173
I'm not going to armchair therapist you, but your outlook is not helping you. You're not supposed to even see failures as humiliating. Just take whatever good you can from those experiences and move on. Most people in this world go through constant failure, but it's up to you to tough it out and stand above it. It's hard, and it can get ugly, really ugly, but as long as you persist, there is always some hope.
I believe in you anon. I hope you can find it in you to not just dismiss this post I wrote and that you can just sit there and really think about how you'd like to move forward.
Do that not for me, but for yourself.