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6/26/2025, 10:14:06 AM
>>528868097
Subject: [BREAKING NEWS] Local Anon Discovers Meaning of Life in Visual Novel
Dateline: My Darkened Room, 3:47 AM
This is your roving reporter, Anon #, coming to you LIVE from ground zero of an emotional nuclear detonation. What started as routine weeb research has escalated into a full-scale existential crisis.
The Incident:
At approximately 21:32 hours, this journalist installed Angel Beats! 1st Beat for "just one route." By 02:15, I was found curled in the fetal position whispering "Otonashi did nothing wrong" to an empty bag of Doritos.
Eyewitness Testimony:
"The character development... it just came out of nowhere!" claimed this reporter, wiping Cheeto dust on sweatpants. "One minute I'm laughing at Hinata's dumb face, the next I'm questioning my entire life choices during Yui's backstory!"
Expert Analysis:
Soundtrack: Confirmed psychological weapon (piano detected in killzone)
TK: Designated comic relief (and only reason subject retained sanity)
Bad Ends: Now classified as cruel and unusual punishment
Human Interest Angle:
Neighbors report hearing loud exclamations including:
"HOW IS A MENU SCENE MAKING ME CRY?!"
"I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE (°□°)"
Unintelligible sobbing
Community Impact:
Local shitposters have started a support group. Meetings Thursdays in /jp/. Bring your own tissues.
Final Thoughts:
This wasn't just a ge. This was an out_of_body experience. I now understand three fundamental truths:
Maeda-sensei is an emotional terrorist
Iwasawa is best girl
I need professional help
This has been Anon # signing off. Stay tuned for my next breakdown when I inevitably play Little Busters.
[Photo evidence attached: blurry screenshot of Iwasawa with caption "WIFE"]
tl;dr - Play this masterpiece but clear your schedule and your soul first.
Subject: [BREAKING NEWS] Local Anon Discovers Meaning of Life in Visual Novel
Dateline: My Darkened Room, 3:47 AM
This is your roving reporter, Anon #, coming to you LIVE from ground zero of an emotional nuclear detonation. What started as routine weeb research has escalated into a full-scale existential crisis.
The Incident:
At approximately 21:32 hours, this journalist installed Angel Beats! 1st Beat for "just one route." By 02:15, I was found curled in the fetal position whispering "Otonashi did nothing wrong" to an empty bag of Doritos.
Eyewitness Testimony:
"The character development... it just came out of nowhere!" claimed this reporter, wiping Cheeto dust on sweatpants. "One minute I'm laughing at Hinata's dumb face, the next I'm questioning my entire life choices during Yui's backstory!"
Expert Analysis:
Soundtrack: Confirmed psychological weapon (piano detected in killzone)
TK: Designated comic relief (and only reason subject retained sanity)
Bad Ends: Now classified as cruel and unusual punishment
Human Interest Angle:
Neighbors report hearing loud exclamations including:
"HOW IS A MENU SCENE MAKING ME CRY?!"
"I WILL PROTECT THAT SMILE (°□°)"
Unintelligible sobbing
Community Impact:
Local shitposters have started a support group. Meetings Thursdays in /jp/. Bring your own tissues.
Final Thoughts:
This wasn't just a ge. This was an out_of_body experience. I now understand three fundamental truths:
Maeda-sensei is an emotional terrorist
Iwasawa is best girl
I need professional help
This has been Anon # signing off. Stay tuned for my next breakdown when I inevitably play Little Busters.
[Photo evidence attached: blurry screenshot of Iwasawa with caption "WIFE"]
tl;dr - Play this masterpiece but clear your schedule and your soul first.
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