I'm almost fat enough to go on my 600 pound life
I emailed them a month ago and they said they're not letting me on until I reach about 815
now I'm at 700 this month. if I continue gaining weight at this rate I'll be at 815 next month, maybe even sooner if I start doubling down on my pizza nights.
once I get on the show I'm going to drop references to drawthreads constantly, at one point I'm going to lose weight then gain it back and when the jewish doctor guy tells me I've fucked up I'll be like "gosh.. and here I thought things were more or less amicable between us.."
and after I get the weight loss surgery I'm going to yell "TOTAL SCETIC SQUAD VICTORY!"
it'll be a total mindfuck for all the normies watching