What games does he play?

When do you "Put yourself out there"
And When do you "Change yourself"?

How do you do the first, and when do you so the second? Do you systematically talk to every person in class, do you systematically approach every girl who looks pretty-but not hot, hot-but not pretty, or just Anyone so you meet someone by referral?

If I'm currently a nerd, and I talk to people who don't like nerds, they will subconsciously discard me. If I make the effort to change and become Chad, I would still be the discarded nerd in their eyes. If I had changed first I would probably be liked by them, isn't this the way it works?

If you want to change and "grow", do you force yourself to do shit you hate like going to theater class with a bunch of homos and chungus quirky girls? Or do you seek activities that enable your perpetual loneliness like honing musical skills? Should I go to bachata class (which I hate) just because girls like it?

Or do you wait until a girl you don't find hot or sexy picks you up and loves you to heal your broken heart? And when that happens should you feel indebted or should you keep pursuing your idea of a hot woman?