I was 5 months into it, with edging to porn still. Things had changed. There was, sometimes, a deep feeling of joy, like everything of the present time felt almost nostalgic.

I then had the chance to have sex a few weeks ago, and ended up coming - while having sex, the only way i hope to do it anytime soon. It felt strange. Out of the blue, the girl that i was so attached to, giving attention and affection, made me feel anxious. Things got boring, and i started to feel more and more irritated. That was the first time i really felt that coming was not a real option for me anymore. I wanted to make it linger, fucking or not fucking. I wanted to feel that joy, as i want to feel it now, everyday of my life. No orgasm ever gave me this.

Fast foward to now, i was able to get back on track. I´m not cured of my PMO vice yet, but i´m on the road to being free. I´m writing this just to make sure to the one whos doubting. No, you shouldn´t cum because you´ve edged. There is no more going back to that life style. Take meditation seriously, work. Learn an instrument. You are literally changing who you are, and you don´t know yet who you will be. It is strange, and most of the times really sad. Thats vice.

Life will be good, and better. You can do it, and you will do it. I know there are better people than able to give better advices, but i do hope mine will be helpful for at least one of you, guys.