Probably a little too rendered, but I'll throw it in there. You can simplify it down a lot.
From you're original, the main problem is SHAPE. You have to think in shapes to do something anything in a stylized way.

Otherwise, Lighting is key with water. You could use a little subsurface scattering to liven things up.

>>7621036
From the wip you gave, these seem closer to what you're after. Looks like a comic, so simpler the better.