You’ve dodged some wild stuff in your time, but if you’re certain of one thing right now, it’s this:

You’re not LIMBOOOing outta this one!

Squaring your stance like Volka showed you, you brace for fuzzy impact as the Anton-Seeking Artillery darts between the legs of other Leisure Cart-goers before making a beeline for your very scratchable face! N-not your MONEYMAKER!

Calling upon what little experience you can recall from your extremely brief Little League career, you thrust your hands out in front of you and crane your neck backwards just as the angry artiste slams into you like a musical medicine ball!

The Spinner smacks into you with much more ‘oomph’ than you expected–she’s pretty light aside from her lower half, but the Bard Bomb still manages to send you skidding across the carpet!

B-babe, you begin, you-

“LOCKING ME IN A PET CAGE, ANT!?” She snarls as she assaults with a flurry of blows from her claws, feet, and tail! “A PET CAGE!?!?!”

Sh-she has to agree–ngh–that on some levelOOF! that was–QUIT KICKING–the best idea-

“I GOT A FEW ‘BEST IDEAS’ FOR WHAT I’M GONNA DO TO YOU, YA’ BIG LUMP!”

Hey uh… speaking of, you cough while trying to keep the pissed-off performer from clawing out your eyes, WHY is she out of the cage, Volka?

“She kept whinin’, Rook!” Pouts the Skog, the girl too embarrassed to meet your soon-to-be-rended eyes! “A-and she kept pawin’ at the door! I thought she had ta’ go to the bathroom!”

WE TOOK HER OUTSIDE TO TRY BEFORE SHE WENT IN THE CAGE, you groan! Part of you wants to continue berating Volka, but the part that isn’t getting diced like an onion also realizes you’re still in the Leisure Cart… and people are DEFINITELY staring!

LOOK, you interject as you manage to grab TT by the wrists, you made a dumb decision, okay? You just… you were just trying to help her… with herself.

And just like that, the assault ends. Dangling by her wrists like some kind of internet cat meme, the fury in Tzah-Tzie’s eyes gives way to remorse…

“... You’re right…” She mutters under her breath, “I… I totally lost control, didn’t I?” Peering up at you with apologies in her eyes, the Spinner hangs her head as her actions in the last few posts finally catch up with her!

“I’m such an ass, aren’t I? Making you guys chase me around on a train…” A rueful laugh leaves her lips as she shakes her head in shame. “Totally outta’ control... Maybe I do belong in a pet cage…”

Listen, you reply, cupping her chin and lifting it so her gaze meets yours, she’s not an ass, okay? Nobody’s perfect! Well, she might come close, but-

“Shut uuuup...” TT giggles as she playfully bats at your cheek, “We’re in public, ya’ big goof…”

>CONTD.