>>40203249
in what timeframe? since transition? that count?

>st/tc
4 including my previous love that was just a weird drawn out painful life ruinous horrible mistake; and ofcourse my heavenly wife that saved me from dieing over that; the first of those was a short lived boyfriend experiment; he was married & saved me from homelessness when my mom died; then my (now ex/bestie) gf got me to a much better environment and cared for my while i declined over that other girl until i was married to my wife

>in adulthood ldr pre transition
4 including a shy online bf for 5 years; a psycho british girl; and the deepest relationship of my life until my wife with a girl from finland; not to discount the closeness of me and my bestie but she is aromantic

>pre adulthood including ldr
4 including my first love that i attempted sui over at 12; i first saw my goddess through her; and my first pso gf on dreamcast a year or two later

>other notable people; not necesarily relationships but i loved them or cared deeply; lifelong
i think about 20 people would fit in this category; including my goddess's origins; another girl i became particularly enamored with and drawn to her beauty- almost a second Epitome or an angel (a role my wife basically now fulfills); a couple one sided intense Limerence loves in highschool; 2 girls from this board; one of which hates me now probably; a couple of pso2 people i fell for and hoped for but they couldnt love me; and a few others that were one sided things or otherwise friends i wanted to be more with

>the most impactful important people in my life; who i truly deeply loved and fell for:
4-8; between first love and my wife; all fit into the above categories

>the most important formulatively to who i am:
>Eleanor (first love)
>Lilian (first soulmate feeling)
>Ellaphae (originally a fantasy to cope with loss of Lilian; evolved into my spirituality; goddess; and religion)
>Raya (my wife from this board who converted to Ellaphae the day we met)