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8/3/2025, 1:00:24 PM
>>512110929
Okay so here’s the deal. I turned 40 back in August. Bald. Like completely bald. My scalp is so shiny now it reflects the screen back at me when I watch YouTube in the dark. I haven’t touched a woman in over a decade unless you count accidentally brushing the cashier’s hand at Aldi.
Anyway. I’m deep in a depressive spiral one night, sipping flat Diet Dr. Pepper and scrolling through anime covers. Suddenly YouTube recommends me Pan Piano. If you don’t know who that is, imagine Chopin reincarnated as a busty Taiwanese woman cosplaying 2B and somehow mastering the ancient art of sideboob.
It was like God reached through the screen and slapped me in the face with a very jiggly miracle.
I signed up for her Patreon immediately. Not even thinking. $110 tier. “Just to see what it’s about.” Total impulse. No big deal, right?
Fast forward 8 months.
I’ve given her nearly FOUR GRAND.
And not even through Patreon. No, I used most of it on YouTube super chats like a full-on brain-damaged simp. Dropping $100 a stream just to say “Nice playing!” in a sea of other degenerates. She never responded. She never even acknowledged me. At one point I think she laughed — not at a joke, but at my existence.
I told myself it was for “supporting the arts.” My bank account says otherwise.
Do you know what $4,000 could buy? A used car. A flight to Thailand to die in peace. A lifetime supply of ramen. Hair plugs, probably. Therapy, definitely.
Instead I have 8 months of footage of a woman who doesn’t know I exist dressed as anime girls playing songs from Genshin Impact.
I emailed her asking if I could get a refund because I was “in a bad place emotionally.” No reply. Not even an emoji. I tried telling YouTube I had “a mental health episode.” They told me to contact law enforcement if I feel unsafe. I AM unsafe. Unsafe from my own choices.
Okay so here’s the deal. I turned 40 back in August. Bald. Like completely bald. My scalp is so shiny now it reflects the screen back at me when I watch YouTube in the dark. I haven’t touched a woman in over a decade unless you count accidentally brushing the cashier’s hand at Aldi.
Anyway. I’m deep in a depressive spiral one night, sipping flat Diet Dr. Pepper and scrolling through anime covers. Suddenly YouTube recommends me Pan Piano. If you don’t know who that is, imagine Chopin reincarnated as a busty Taiwanese woman cosplaying 2B and somehow mastering the ancient art of sideboob.
It was like God reached through the screen and slapped me in the face with a very jiggly miracle.
I signed up for her Patreon immediately. Not even thinking. $110 tier. “Just to see what it’s about.” Total impulse. No big deal, right?
Fast forward 8 months.
I’ve given her nearly FOUR GRAND.
And not even through Patreon. No, I used most of it on YouTube super chats like a full-on brain-damaged simp. Dropping $100 a stream just to say “Nice playing!” in a sea of other degenerates. She never responded. She never even acknowledged me. At one point I think she laughed — not at a joke, but at my existence.
I told myself it was for “supporting the arts.” My bank account says otherwise.
Do you know what $4,000 could buy? A used car. A flight to Thailand to die in peace. A lifetime supply of ramen. Hair plugs, probably. Therapy, definitely.
Instead I have 8 months of footage of a woman who doesn’t know I exist dressed as anime girls playing songs from Genshin Impact.
I emailed her asking if I could get a refund because I was “in a bad place emotionally.” No reply. Not even an emoji. I tried telling YouTube I had “a mental health episode.” They told me to contact law enforcement if I feel unsafe. I AM unsafe. Unsafe from my own choices.
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