The First Mover argument is the quintessential midwit cope—philosophical dress-up for those who want to sound profound without actually confronting the absurdity of their own assumptions. It pretends to be airtight logic but rests entirely on special pleading: everything needs a cause... except the thing I already believe in. It flatters mid-level intellects because it mimics the structure of rational thought, giving them the illusion of depth while shielding them from doubt. Instead of embracing the uncertainty that real philosophical inquiry demands, the midwit Christcuck parrots Aquinas like a spell, desperate to anchor his fragile worldview in antique authority. He isn’t proving anything—he’s begging the universe to validate his inherited delusion.